amyhead

aaahhhh

2007-01-04T21:11:37Z

Okay, so I haven't been here in a really long time...I used to come here to vent. I plan on venting right now as not to bug people and to give my brain a break from screaming at me. Sometimes people say things that they mean in a helpful way but it comes out as mean and makes you feel like shit. That's what happens to me a lot...my mum made me feel super fat again today which she does a lot and it makes me want to get the hell away from this house. She doesn't realize that when she says stuff, it just makes me want to be more defiant...or rather eat what I want and prove her wrong...just when I thought I was having a good day...whatever...

Brussels!!!

2006-02-22T11:32:33Z

Heyo!!! I´m in Brussels!!! It´s super fun and awesome!!! I go to Paris tomorrow!!! I fell in love with a spring coat and think I´m gonna give up eating so I can buy it which is bad news baseball cause I´ve only been here a couple of days...plus the keyboards are screwy and confusing...I´m out!!! miss you kids xoxox hope you´re having a fab reading week!!! :)

update I guess

2006-01-15T17:31:04Z

Not much to report...18 more days of this insane diet before I can start "phasing things back in". I'm pretty excited for that...I will be trashed for Charity Ball!

hhmmm, okay well I guess I didn't report much about Christmas break. Basically, it was fabulous, very relaxing, spent some time with the boys family and got to hang with the girls(thank god they all had that extra week off, love you!). Spent New Years with the boy in dire stomach pain but New Years is overated anyways!

So I recently got my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding, it's pretty nice! and also got my dress for Charity Ball which I am super excited about!

Two days ago I sent in my application for Universities...I applied to concurrent ed at Queen's and The University of Ontario:institute for technology, and for a bachelor of mathematics at CU. We'll see where I get excepted. If it's only Carleton then things will be much simpler.

I'm soon going on two overseas trips! In Feb I am off to France and perhaps elsewhere also(we have yet to decide) with my friend Jenn. We'll be staying with our friend Bronwyn who is living there for this past year. I CANNOT WAIT! I'm uber excited!!! Then in early May I'm going to England to visit the mother world. Family and friends kind of visit, leeting up with my folks once I get there. I'm super excited about that too...I don't think I've been there in like 8 years! talk about crazy!

Time to get down to brass tasks, byee xox

:)

2006-01-01T21:39:23Z

Happy New Year to all and to all a CRAZY WILD night!!! xox

a little bitch

2005-11-21T18:28:39Z

Ok, I'm here to bitch...but not angrily because I am suprisingly calm(they say you get that way when you're starving to death, lol)...

So I started this insane diet and it's a million times more difficult then I thought. So not only can I not have sugar, yeast, wheat, milk and milk products and potatoes...I can't have alcohol, a lot of different fruit and other random foods like popcorn(I have no comfort food left). So I seriously can't eat very much and I can only eat certain things at certain times.

This morning I drank the juice from an entire lemon and then had to wait 1/2 hour before I could eat anything else. SO stupid! But I am not gonna cheat...the book had a great analogy..."You wouldn't feed someone if you were trying to kill them by starving them, so don't feed your illness". I dunno why but that made me realize how stupid it was to cheat(on the few occasions I did)this past year when I was supposed to have NO sugar.

I can't complain too much though cause I have an awesome life, great friends I couldn't live without and a boyfriend who is super sweet and always makes me smile no matter how shitty and weak I feel! I think I'd break down if it wasn't for him...

Anyways, Christmas is gonna suck food-wise but I'm still MEGA excited to see everyone and just to have a break from effing school! Also I'm excited that I'm going to Montreal to spend some time with JF and his family after Christmas! And that the Christmas party is back on!!! woohoo!!!

Anyways, time to go eat some carrot soup!

NLS inst WHAT?

2005-11-16T23:36:51Z

I got my NLS instructors!!! I'm very excited and worried at the same time...eek, more legal implications if the little 'uns fuck up. I'm helping co-exam a re cert this Sat so that's awesome cause it takes me halfway to being an NLS examiner which I think I'd like to be.

I got in a huge arguement today at school with a bunch of people...well actually, originally one person whose point of view I understood and then a bunch of people who had no frigin idea what they were talking about...people shouldn't argue about physics when I'm right...or at least if I'm not(which I'm sure I am), then the other girl is(which she isn't). Everyone confused yet? good.

In other news, I had pizza tonight! it was great and def not sugar free...this is my defiance because I've just become quite sick again. Tomorrow I'm going on a no anything diet...ie no milk, no sugar, no yeast, no wheat. I think those are the things...anyways...from now on you are free to call me the girl who eats rocks. My life as we know it may as well be over.

Apart from that, life's normal, lots of work, lots of homework etc. I'm helping mum with an art show tomorrow and it should be lots of fun...

Christmas is coming and if you have lots of money that you don't want...buy me a new camera...I NEED one(it's a need, not a want).

Did I mention that I can't wait for more snow...how fun is that?! :D

Some fun pics of some good times from days of yore...

partying WHAT?! my friend Claire is a hottie!

oh that crazy dink!

Let's Parte!

ou-i-ou

jump! jump for the beach!

Gotta finish another board, out.

slight update

2005-11-06T23:42:16Z

So after reading my last entry, I feel like a year has passed since then. Life's pretty sweet right now. I'm taking my NLS instructors which is probably the most stressful thing going on right now.

JF and I are back together and things are 500 times better then they were before...I dunno what changed but it is definitely for the better! :) I'm dragging him to the pool tonigt to be my victim for practise which is nerve wracking cause my skills aren't what I would consider up to par...:S

School is school, lots of work and I'm drowning a little. I got my first failing grade the other day on a section that should've turned out better then it did. S'all good though because I knew it wasn't gonna.

It rained and thundered like crazy today. That was pretty cool.

I went to MTL with Jenn and Bronwyn before school started and it was mega fun even thought we never ended up getting to the bar :P We totally rocked the city!

I also went to Hami a while ago with Sarah D. and hung with Tara for the weekend. That was also amazing times...but as usual I spent too much money. Whatever, who doesn't love shopping in TO for 7 hours straight, right Tar!

Bronwyn has been gone for a long time now and Jenn and I just booked our tickets to Frnace the other day. We're gonna go for two weeks in February and I am psyked!!! I don't think I've been this excited about a trip in a long time! The trio will be reunited again!!! Plus Steph A. might come along too and be our guest star!!! fun fun fun!!! Now I just gotta find a camera to borrow cause mine sucks some major ass, boorns :( It would be awesome to see Lara too while we're there but I dunno if that's in the works...plus now I gots no money, no good...

Anyways...here's some pics cause I was looking over some...

me, Sara and Sarah D., parte!

A bunch of my girls! <3

J9 and I on Canada day! that feels like SO long ago!

Lara and Jenn, Lara's Party! we miss you xoxo

Jenna and me, SEEFOOD!!!

IST including aquafit fun!

Bronwyn and Jenn in MTL, classy dinner :)

Drinkin some drinks, gettin some ice and eatin some chips in MTL!

Out to lunch!

Tara and I rippin up the dancefloor!

Who beat up who?! good move Phil!

bye for now! xoxox

I'll miss you Bronwyn!!!

2005-09-06T03:06:56Z

Okay, know what I hate? Expectations. Rarely does it turn out that something exceeds my expectations. Generally speaking, my expectations just exceed the event or the person.

Today was kinda boring...I feel like I wasted half of it...best line of yesterday though:"you love him this much[Jenna holds up a polar bear?!]"...as sad as this is to admit, this is what I did when I got home from work today:

1) called mum and made sure that she doesn't worry about me

2) mowed the lawn because my feet hurt too much to go for a run :(

3) eat dinner and knitted while I watched the following line of TV: Seinfeld, Friends, Sex and the City, Friends, Friends, Friends, Friends, Friends

4) got some school stuff figured out while saving soem CDs to my computer

That's right folks, I watched 5 episodes of Friends IN A ROW!!! I am a party animal! I wanted to go out tonight. After my weekend of Friday 4:30-9:30pm, Sat 9am-930pm, Sun 10am-930pm, Mon 1130am-330pm, I really just wanted to go out to the bar for a drink but all the people I asked today were being lame. I can't believe Bronwyn will be gone soon, I'm gonna miss that girl SO much!!!, and Jenn's away, damnit!

Anyways, today also blew because I saw the worst thing ever happen this morning!!! I was driving and slowed down and stopped to let a groundhog pass. The guy in the other lane slowed down too..and then HIT IT!!! the fucking bastard!!! I almost got out of my car and hit his fucking car I was SO pissed!!! Who the fuck does that anyways?! Who SLOWS down, deliberatly to hit an animal!!! the worst part was that I saw it have a seizure and die...I wanted to cry all the way to work. I fucking hate people!!! They're so effing stupid! And if you're gonna be a fucking cocksucking asshole like that, at least don't effing slow down to hit the thing. What a moron. Judy told me that she's sure that guy has some bad karmic action coming his way...I hope so! damn idiots!

Anyways, apart from my rages right now, life's pretty good I guess. I really don't wanna be in school yet, I def didn't get my fill of summer and I REALLY wanna go to Hami!!! I totally miss Tara SO much!!! and Age SO much!!! I can't believe I haven't had time. Man life's a bitch...I feel like I have SO much to do and don't wanna do any of it! :P

Summer was awesome though! I still can't believe Lila and Mike are engaged! It's SO cool! def good choice on Mike's part!!! plus I get to be in the wedding party which will be SO fun! hhmm, I'd like to select some pics but there are WAY too many...if only I had done it along the way.

Apparently right now I feel pessimistic and bored so I'll come back when I'm sunnier and say something positive...

yey!

2005-08-05T22:09:04Z

CONGRATULATIONS TO MIKE AND LILA ON THEIR ENGAGEMENT!!! xoxoxox

not much

2005-07-25T03:12:27Z

hhmmm, important things to report...I've recently spent all my money on martinis and sugar free ice cream and sugarfree drumsticks...and so far, it's all worth it...this weekend was really fun!

Other then that...I have a kid in one of my classes who just might be the clone of Mark Hamill. This kid pretty much makes my life! He even has the right haircut...I'm hoping I can get a picture of him...maybe on Pirate Day on Friday!!! let's hope for pics soon...

Jenn and Bronwyn

Beach!

Sandcastles with fortificationS!!!

Dave foot face

Dragon = slayed!

nothing really to report

2005-07-13T01:30:25Z

Wow, where to even start. umm...things I can remember right now...

Lifesaving Camp was awesome!!! 5 out of 25 of my kids failed but that's better then I was expecting so yey! Some impressing moments were a burping contest btw some of the boys at lunch and my pretend scorn as the caf lady walked by, proptly to be followed by my own burp. Matt getting 102% on his test that most of the class got less then 75%. Michelle being able to shove an entire cupcake in her mouth!

JF and Jon went and came back from Halifax and I had a great time hangiong out with Buddy and then they brought me back lobster which we had with some friends, very fun and relaxing. Those kids crack me up! :)

HOPE was a barrel of laughs, we had an awesome day of fun including Lauren's birthday cake "suprise" and us winning 0 for 5 games. Plus the after BBQ was fun also, including JF breaking my new kitchen ;)

I am broke and need to stop shopping! Tuition just about killed me and I am in no way shape or form ready to go back to school!

Lifesaving camp drains me but work is still SUPER fun!!! I miss two of my kids that I think I got sick :(. Being sick last week was a real bummer and being sent home and being forced to take a day off sucked for money but was good for health.

Tomorrow is all about the beach with Bronwyn! Tonight is all about sleep :) Lately my dreams have been very pleasant so I usually wake up as happy as a clam...I think it has something to do with the sugar free ice cream I discovered recently ;)

pictures later when I have access to them :P

some words and a couple of pics

2005-06-08T01:15:58Z

ok, so I went out

Bronwyn and Dave

Katy and Melody

me and Robin(notice the hair already untamed)

Sara, me and Robin

Sarah D. and George(the ultimate couple, aww)

Lara Lara Lou

and it was really fun even though we didn't get in anywhere cause we had to work so effing late.

Sunday was good also because of going on the

Lara, me and Robin

and getting a sun burn/tan, that and working.

Monday was majorly redeeming excersise-wise.

Today was a major piss off. I spent the morning-afternoon and was supposed to go shopping with Linds but she effing bailed on me. I'm SO sick of her unreliability!!! plus I didn't gym it up too much cause Mark kept talking to me at the gym. REALLY nice gym but I wanted to workout hardcore cause I didn't have a car today so I only had that time to work out! plus I JUST realize(cause I'm a dumbass), that I coulda made swim practise cause Linds bailed...oh wait...now it's OVER!!! plus I prolly coulda dragged Charles or Katy...ok, why am I pissed now. I hope H calls and redeems today!

One thing I am SUPER excited about is HOPE beach volleyball. I have a team from my work going and I am in charge(eek). Last year was effing awesome, let's hope the Bronson Street Sophisticates can keep it up this year!!! :)

IDIOT

2005-06-04T02:54:08Z

Apologies on how badly I suck at posting pictures...I forgot how to do it for a second...IDIOT!

oh, also ps, J9 and I went to see the Pants movie and it was fantabulous and corny and everything I hoped for!!!

I have brown hair?

2005-06-04T02:51:05Z

OK, so I don't remember THAT much stuff usually when I sit down here so I'll just write about a couple of events tat I remember and have pictures of.

A couple of weeks ago, my buddy Dave was in town and I went out with a bunch of people and him to
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v63/amyhead/0dad3b6d.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

Krista and me

Russell and Bob

The twins and Linds

hot shit

me and Ed

J9, Clr, Art

disgusting hoochi mommas!

. It was pretty fun. Plus I saw the infamous party animal,
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v63/amyhead/fb5f6339.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

!!!

For all those who care, JF and I are officially over and it is awesome! we are SO much better as friends and there is no wierdness between us. Plus I made a new friend, Ebon(pronounced Evan but with a b), who is a roommate of Sarah D. and Bronwyn. Anyways, he basically made me realize I need a guy who actually wants me and needs me and such. It's always wierd how even if your friends tell you a hundred times, it still takes an outside perspective to finally get it. Here's
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v63/amyhead/CabinMay2800150.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

me(dressed as Sarah D., it's the only way to pick up ;) ) and the lovely Lauren

Sarah D., me and Linds

me and Ebon

me and this sexy girl I always run into in bars!

Dave and Bronwyn looking naked

drunk and dancing!!!

from Sat going out with the girls and Ebon!!!

Apart from that, I work A LOT!!! work is still awesome but can be rough soemtimes cause I don't get along with some of the sports camp staff sometimes(ie Ilona Smyth). Good thing I don't wrk with her all the time. On Wednesday I jumped off a table in a hurry in the guard office and landed on a big thick graphite pencil. It got loged in my foot and still hurts! hopefully it'll be fine by tomorrow cause I'm going out dancin!!! umm, apart from that, liofe goes on. My brother let again and he will be missed cause he's funny but this just means I get to use his computer again. Does anyone know a good bit torrent site for music? It would be really helpful.

Also I got my haircut today.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v63/amyhead/me50.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

is what it looks like now. Tomorrow it will look flat again because I have no skills...

I need the air conditioner in my room back...then i won't melt at night.

Life's a pretty sweet fruit...

ran out of time

2005-05-31T03:32:39Z

ok, so I'm a liar...

aww, sweet

2005-05-30T03:34:07Z

I have pictures to upload and stories to tell but I must sleep now, I promise I will actually update tomorrow...

it is over!

2005-05-17T01:05:51Z

This binge ends NOW! Goodbye sugar!

ow...I love Janine!

2005-05-16T16:57:44Z

ok, here goes a long entry...

So Sat's training was not the best but was still SUPER fun cause everyone was there!!! the part about conflict management was basically two hours of grade four peer mediation training, complete with "I" messages. Anyways, the new kids all seem young and not crowdy but I'm gonna try and get em out of their shells! After training was really fun, lunch at Fergus with a bunch of people including Meghann and then to Westboro with a few of the girls. Then it was home for a short period of time and then DANCING AND DRINKING!!!

Sunday was great too cause it was Mother's Day. Woke up at Lara's and raced home to find that there was no need to rush because Mikey was still asleep. Spent the day putting swing together for mum and shopping in Westboro with her(apparently I go there frequently these days) for chocolates and kitchen stuffs and fun stuff like that!

Monday was great! spent the day at work both working and chilling with Robin and Charles and Katy, going to the gym, swimming, doing lots of physical stuff and training the new kids who I'm a litte worried about. But overall, it was a super fun day!

Tuesday was the beginning of my horror. I got my wisdom teeth out and was frozen in the mouthal region all day which was great. When I woke up the next day I was in a LOT of pain! Tylenol three was kind of my savior, I was able to forget about the pain in my jaw and concentrate on the pain in my stomach. J9 was my saviour all week!!! plus of course my parents who all took care of me! the first couple of days were great, Wed and THursday I spent on the couch watching movies(the many J9 brought me). On Thurs, JF and Melody came by and Melody got me a flower, aww and JF drove me to buy my manual at the SPLX which I need desperately so what a sweetheart! but then after they all left(like about an hour later) I started to feel really naeseous, like I couldn't breathe properly and stuff. TOok meds and puffer but didn't feel any better. Couldn't sleep but didn't want to stay awake. Finally fell asleep out of some miracle.

Woke up Friday much more pain and sickness then before, hadn't eaten in a couple of days so when J9 came over, made some pasta...then my system starting ejecting ANYTHING it could find. Up came the pasta...then everything that I had or hadn't put in my mouth came up. Took Gravol with water, barfed that up. Called doctor...prolly allergic to codeine...

Sat woke up feeling tons better, def allergic to codeine. However, still in dire pain, take caploads of extra strength TYlenol, my new friend. break stomach infection diet and eat everything I've craved for a while, J9 even takes me to Dairy Queen, fuck ya! but still in pain...

Sunday, starting to get really bored of watching movies and constant pain and now pain in stomach(from infection) has returned, eff! go to work to help out with a class I will be teaching, sound like idiot, start thinking about what JF is thinking, maybe just a fling for fun...hmm, head hurts, sleep...

Wake up, finish book, bored out of skull but still in dire pain and have lots of bruises, ok, haven't I been through enough, wisdom teeth effing suck! Who needs wisdom anyways....eff, time for more movies and my precious precious magic bag!

woohoo

2005-05-11T03:53:29Z

wow, well the wisdom I had is now gone, in the form of wisdom teeth at least(let's hope I can keep up these almost straight As)(I'm a dork and I know it). Anyways, this weekend and MOn were great, post more later. GOtta sleep before the drugs wear off!

forget that

2005-05-06T17:36:59Z

This week has been great! So relaxing and such. Went swimming with mum twice, gym every non swim day. Being able to sleep in as long as I want! Lots of hang outs with wicked cool people like J9, Alana, The boys on Wed., Hill, Bronwyn, Sarah D., Jen, Lara, Steph, Lauren. Good times and more new clothes I shouldn't be buying!!! gotta get my computer bakc up, not that I think I got many good pics from this week, despite the constant flow of social activity.

Tomorrow is training number one of the summer and I am SO excited to see everyone!(not that I didn't chill with the girls yesterday), I plan on making this summer super fun! tomorrow night will be all about drinking and dancing, get ready kids!!!

Tonight is a house concert at my place fpr Bianca Pittour, put on by my folks and there will be about a million people at my house. I'm sure it will be fun cause Lans and J9 will be here to help me, woohoo!!!

ps thank you to Mr. Sun fro finally coming out, I think I'm gonna go readmy book outside, adios!

still undecided on feelings

2005-05-03T03:53:41Z

Wow, exams are over but the rain(although I still adore it and love walking in it) is stopping me from believing that it is in fact summer. The last exam sucked but I figure whatever, cause it is done.

Friday night was good, went over to Stephy's and had some drinks with a bunch of girls, got a little tipsy and played a board game whose name I can't remember but that involved a lot of the word porn, lol, prolly not intentionally. It was really nice to hang and watch some Faulty Towers with Stephy before she leaves for Germany. Also, Lara and I decided to take a trip!

Saturday I did all of nothing, it was splendid. Went to the gym for a couple of hours ad chilled with Hill in the evening. Relaxation at it's highest!

Sunday Lara and I took our trip to Montreal!!! It was AWESOME! we had two really good meals, got AMAZING deals and spent WAY too much money!(but two pairs of Steve Madden shoes at $20 each and a GUess purse for $10, hello!!!). And of course there was the ghetto, a part of MTL we saw by mistake but let us know both sides of the city. CREEPY, I would never live near that ghetto(it was like the four holes times a million). So basically Sun kicked ass and ity will be repeated sometime very soon! plus on my way home, I stopped and hung with Alana for a bit, way to be home girls!!!

Today has been pretty sweet, I didn't get up till noon(SAWEET!) and hung with mum for a bit and cleaned a bit and hung out with J9 which is always super fun!!! So basically things are leveling out.

I hope you're having LOTS of fun Rich!!! <3

not bad

2005-04-28T20:36:38Z

Well things are good for a while, I hope. Yesterday I got up and went to the gym which was short but totally worth it. THen I headed over to Jen's where her and Bronwyn and I went shopping for knitting and baking stuff and then had a totally domestic girls day. It was effing awesome and just what I needed. We made sugarless cookies that turned out more like muffins but delish heated up with margarine, and chocolate cupcakes for the girls. We bought a bunch of other stuff we didn't need too, yey girls day! After baking, Jen taught us to knit while we watched 13 going on 30, Sex and the City and Gilmour Girls. The knitting bags my mum gave me with her knitting needles in are pretty cool too, I could see doubling them as purses, score!

Jen will be Martha Stewart, minus the jail and whatnot, when she is older :) that is her goal and I'm sure it will happen, cept she's SO much more fun!

Today is all about studying...well that's what I'm trying to make it all about. I got a call today from my boss saying that I am being promoted, yey, go me! I'm pretty excited cause I'm pretty sure this means more money with not too much extra work, woohoo!

TOday has been awesome too cause my cats have been little cuddle bunnies all day and they are adorable! plus it rained and I love the rain, no one looks fancy in the rain :)

However, I must concentrate on studying even though I feel like i'm done...

we will see...

2005-04-27T05:25:02Z

Well, tonight went as well as expected I suppose...but considering what I was expecting, it didn't go very well. I did go out though when I was considering punking out and I know had I done that, I'd wonder what it would've been like to be there. I love Bronwyn and Sarah for taking me there and enjoyed some of the company of who was there...but I kinda knew that I shouldn't. I dunno, I got the big smile, the enthusiastic wave, the stares every so often that made me wonder what if...but then it was as if I wasn't there, or I was just another person there, which I suppose I am and may always be. I jsut don't know why I prim and prme to go out to these non events. We will see. Tomorrow's girls day should be much more fun. Gotta leave this moment of uncertainty with livejournal. We will see...

Rich, if you read this, I am fine and I hope you're having an amazing time in Europe!!! Say hi to Arlen too xox

I got nothing

2005-04-26T03:23:41Z

well, it's the nigt before my second last exam and I know I should know more but I have given up. I just watched the first two episodes of Arrested Development and it is pretty funny!

Rich brought me home my birthday present and it is AWESOME! It's a shirt with a rainbow with teeth. Wickass! HOwever Rich is going to Europe for a month and I'm sure he'll have an amazing time, but I can't wait for him to come back cause I like it when he's here.

hmmm, went out on Saturday and made two new friends and got reacquainted with an old one. Clr, Margs and I went to the Cabin and ran into Adam Phomin and his friends Landin and Reza. THey were quite a riot and Landin rapped us all the way home.

I feel down again. I dunno, I feel like I shouldn't care and I do. And I know I'm gonna be upset tomorrow when I end up staying home alone watching a chick flick. Bronwyn and I will have our night, hopefully on Wed. and it will be fun! I need to concentrate on the fun stuff and push the bad out, I've been trying really hard.
I'm thinking of maybe getting a haircut and getting swoopy bangs again, that might be a nice change.

I have to get my wisdom teeth out on May 10th and I am SO scared! Hopefully this will mean I can get the girls organized for our trip to Toronto though.

My computer is hopelessly busted. I dunno what happened. It was working this morning and then I turned it off, and when I came back, the internet wouldn't work and when I rebooted it wouldn't even turn on unless it's in safe mode. eff that!

My lungs hurt, my ears are loud and I'm still sick..what more do I have to complain about, oh yeah, and I fucked up my foot today and I could hardly walk...I hope everything magically gets better when summer comes :(...I need my Alana back...

stress comes in many forms

2005-04-13T19:10:04Z

OK, so I haven't updated in like half a month. Things are kinda rocky, I feel my stressed state is making my life a little shaken and I feel I'm slipping in the school department. Don't get me wrong, school is going decently and I'm getting shit done but it could be better...

JF and I decided last night to take a break from each other. I was fine last night and got two very long encouraging phone calls and talking to him for a couple of hours also helped me have confidence in the situation. I feel like I'm far more upset about it today then I was yesterday. Good thing is though, that I said what I wanted to say, it's all out of my head and into his ears and that is HUGE stress off my shoulders. I dont' think it'll be much different then the past couple of weeks...minus the cuteness on the net, aw well. We'll see what summer brings, hopefully sunshine, relaxation and happiness regardless of the circumstances. I just hope he gets his shit done and is happy with his accomplishments because I am proud of all he's done.

Everything will be fine...if only I could eat chocolate and ice cream...